Just like adults, children can experience stressful events in life. Thankfully, they usually bounce back. But a traumatic event can have a longer impact on your child. If you think that your child might have trauma, there are ways to help.
What is childhood trauma?
Trauma means that you have emotions in response to something that hurt, or threatened to hurt, you or someone close to you. It can be one event or many events over time. A traumatic response in a child can change their sleep schedule or behavior. A child with emotional trauma also might become violent or lose interest in things they once enjoyed. Trauma sometimes has physical symptoms, such as wetting the bed or stomachaches.
What causes emotional trauma in children?
Some examples of things that might traumatize a child are:
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Experiencing emotional, physical, or sexual abuse or seeing it happen to a loved one.
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Not having stable housing or enough food.
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Natural disasters.
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Being bullied.
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Violence in the community or at school.
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Refugee and war experiences.
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Separation from family.
Supporting a child with trauma
Trauma can get in the way of your child’s well-being and make it hard for them to feel safe. But many children can process and overcome these experiences with the right help. As a caring adult in their life, you can provide support and guidance. Try the following:
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Explain that the event is real and has affected them. This validates what they’ve been through.
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Explain that they aren’t the reason the event happened. Children often blame themselves for events, even ones completely out of their control. Remind them that they don’t need to feel guilty about the event or any feelings or thoughts they have afterward.
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Remind them that they’re safe. You can list the ways they’re safe at school and at home. Mention that they are with caring adults. Talk about any security measures that are in place.
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Be patient. There’s no timetable for healing. Some children process events quickly. Others take longer. Reassure your child that healing will take time, and that they don’t need to feel bad about how long it might take.
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Tell other adults in your child’s life about what they’re going through. They can help you keep track of your child and alert you to any changes.
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Remember to celebrate the small victories with your child. Recognize any changes in their behavior or their ability to talk about the traumatic event.
Don’t forget about taking care of yourself during this time. Here are a few reminders:
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Don’t take your child’s difficulties personally. Their struggles are a result of a trauma they experienced. It's not because you failed as a caregiver.
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Make time for things that boost your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
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If you have experienced trauma, focus on your own healing too. This could mean getting support from friends, family, or health professionals.
When to contact your child's doctor
Contact the doctor right away if your child:
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Feels extreme depression, fear, anxiety, or anger toward themselves or others.
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Hears voices that others don’t hear.
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Sees things that others don’t see.
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Can’t sleep or eat for 3 days in a row.
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Has symptoms that last longer than 1 month.
Your child’s doctor can help you make a treatment plan to support your child. The doctor might recommend care from counselors, therapists, social workers, or other health professionals.
When to get emergency help
If your child has suicidal thoughts or plans, call or text 988 or 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) right away. You will be connected to trained counselors who are part of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. An online chat choice is also available. This service is free and available 24/7.
Therapy treatments
Therapy can be a helpful way for your child to process trauma. Therapy may be needed for some time. Here are a few kinds your doctor might recommend:
Child-parent psychotherapy
The goals are to help your child trust what they feel in their body and encourage them to talk about their feelings. It also helps them see a difference between reliving the trauma and remembering it. It teaches them to place the trauma in perspective too. In these sessions, the doctor might use strategies such as play, physical contact, language, and modeling. The doctor will also interpret your child’s feelings and actions. All these methods provide emotional support to help your child understand their feelings and actions.
Parent-child interaction therapy
This type of therapy can help make the child’s behavior more stable and strengthen your relationship with them. This therapy can also lower your own stress levels. It helps you develop your skills in real-time, play-based situations with your child. You’ll learn how to use positive attention skills and to discipline in a steady manner that fits the situation. By working on your relationship, this therapy can help support your child with their trauma response.
Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy
This treatment looks at the impact of traumatic stress. It can teach your child about how trauma works. This therapy also helps them learn about coping skills and how to identify their feelings. During sessions, the doctor will help your child see the links between their thoughts, feelings, and actions. This treatment also encourages them to use words to describe the trauma. And it teaches strategies on how to manage responses to any reminders of the trauma. Most sessions are divided in half. The therapist will see you and your child alone during each half. Some sessions will include you both.
What to keep in mind
Trauma can feel overwhelming, complex, and scary. But there are many tools to help. Alongside other caring adults and doctors, your child can learn ways to understand their feelings and deal with difficult events.
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