To help you listen to each other’s feelings, try this "talker and listener" method. First, one person is the talker, and the other is the listener. Then you change roles.
Tips for better communication
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As the talker, tell your partner up to 3 things you are feeling. Start your statements with "I" and keep them short. You might say something like, "I’m afraid that if we make love, I’ll get tired and have to stop."
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Your partner listens. They do not say anything until you are done speaking.
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Then your partner tells you in their own words what you said. You just listen.
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Now change roles. Your partner becomes the talker while you listen. Then tell your partner in your own words what you heard.
Repeat this exercise as many times as you like. Practice at least 3 times a week.
Getting help
Talk with your doctor if you and your partner are not sure about having sex again. Also ask your doctor about sexual counseling. Sexual counseling may be helpful. It can help you address many sexual concerns you and your partner may have.
Online Medical Reviewer: Glenn Gandelman MD MPH
Online Medical Reviewer: Lu Cunningham RN BSN
Date Last Reviewed: 04/01/2025
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